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Dating Strategy and Etiquette

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Are The Rules Still Valid in 2018?

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  admort 1 week, 1 day ago.

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    The book ‘All the Rules’ by Sherry Schneider and Helen Fein published in 1995 has been a bestseller for years teaching women to hold back and let themselves being arduously pursued by men.

    But in today’s genderized Clown World with millions of feminized young, white men with low self-esteem, are these Rules still effective or rather counter-productive? How should European men and women ideally behave to make a love story successful and durable leading to a happy family with numerous children?

    Single as well as married men and women are invited to discuss the subject.

    Before commenting please take the RULES TEST: Are You a Lady or a Tramp

    For those unfamiliar with the Rules find an summary on Wikipedia All The Rules Book – Overview


    Justin Kase

    I have not read the book but, judging be the chapter titles alone, most of the advice seems pretty sound. I did not agree with the titles of chapters 5,6,7,11 and 19. I think those five chapters give unsound advice that would likely give the impression that a woman is simply disinterested by modern standards, but keep in mind that I have not actually read the book. A woman should not be artificially unavailable and refusing to open up during a date seems counterproductive. The purpose of a date is to determine if you are compatible and enjoy each other’s company. Being standoffish may result in mixed signals and also prevent you both from discovering that you are incompatible earlier on. Of course there are some limits to how much one should open up, but those limits should be obvious to any tactful person.



    Both women and men should hold back in the beginning of a relationship, i.e. they should not act on initial physical attraction. Instead they should take time to discover each other’s personalities, the other’s functioning and reasoning. So men and women should talk and write more to each other, do things together (go for walks, cinema, concerts, visit each other’s friends and family and so on) before getting physically intimate. Without such reticence they are likely to take the sexual compatibility – so easy to find in the beginning – to mean that they have found a secure platform on which to build a relationship. They haven’t. When the freshness of the sexual encounters wears off they will discover that relationships are primarily social and spiritual constructs, not physical ones. Sex should be the “apotheosis” of a relationship already established, not the introduction to it, at least if “love stories” are to be successful and durable.

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